My First Poo Story

If you have children, you become involved in a strange dance. With poo. If you cannot stand discussing poo, then please read no further.

Two weeks back, or something like that time moves so strangely now, I became concerned because Kaylee hadn't poo'd that day. She always does once a day, sometimes twice, but that's her limit. I shrugged it off and chalked it up to good fortune that I didn't have to go through three or four wipes just to turn her bum from yellow to pink. Because when she does poo, it's full force all in one rush everywhere. Thankfully we haven't had a diaper overflow yet, only with pee. And on Galen's lap. Twice. Ahem.

Anyway. This was Wednesday night that I noticed it had been 24 hours. Thursday rolled around, and then Friday night. I was becoming really concerned. Especially since on Friday she started up this whine. I mean a really pathetic "boo woo woo" whine. All soft and whimpery and make me cry thinking something is really wrong whine. She did this twice in the morning and would scream unless I had her up on my shoulder like I do when I burp her. Then... The Whine. In my ear none the less. She eventually fell asleep, and I cried. What was wrong with my precious little girl?

That afternoon she had an extended whine session, over an hour long. I came to the conclusion that she had to be constipated. After all, the only thing wrong with her was that she hadn't poo'd in two days. I had all the other bases covered. So I called Galen and had him pick up some Karo Syrup, as that was the only thing I found online as safe to give infants her age to ease constipation. You mix a teaspoon with some breastmilk and feed it to her.

Heh, right, good luck with that one mama, I thought. But I had to try something! Galen gets home, and The Whine disappears like magic. Daddy! All was right in the world. I wanted to repeatedly beat my head against a wall. Here I was in tears over my little girl, who I thought was in pain! But no, she's fine now that Superman has arrived. Ah well. I'm now in the process of finding recipes that I can use Karo Syrup in.

But back to the poo. Friday passes, and so does Saturday. Still no poo, but no Whine either. I was going to call the doctor first thing Monday morning if there wasn't any progress. I read that breastfed babies can go as much as five days without pooing because breastmilk is so completely absorbed there is no waste.

Sunday night. I go to change her before putting on her jammies and lo! There is poo! Huzzah! But wait, why is it all clumped up and stuck to her bum? Strange. I grab said poo with a wipe and proceed to pluck it away. Unfortunately as I pull my hand back, a long string of fuzz is pulled from her bum. Yes that's right, fuzz. Because the clump of poo is actually a dime sized amount of fuzz just held together with poo. She has been putting everything in reach in her mouth lately, including the blanket in her crib. Said blanket happens to be lovingly hand made, but fuzzy. My little darling stuffed so much blanket in her mouth she ingested enough fuzz to plug herself up for FOUR DAYS.

Monday night. I go to change her before putting on her jammies and lo! There is poo! Dear lord save me from the pungent yellow crap that came out of that little child. It filled her diaper from top to bottom, completely yellow. Not a spec of white from the diaper insides to be seen. It was the first time I've had one of her diapers tickle my gag reflex. Thankfully Galen was home and we both laughed as I cleaned her up and he cleaned out the diaper. It was bad. I mean, wow. I can't wait until I get my next story, because that means it's gonna top this one. Someone save me, but I do love that girl so much. I'm glad we could laugh about it then and now.